Funny Parenting Advice: 400+ Notes Of Wisdom Every New Parent Should Read

Here’s some honest, real and funny advice for those moments when it seems impossible to laugh and all new parents want to do is cry.

One of my favorite questions I’m asked at least once a week is “any funny parenting advice for new parents?” My first reaction is to laugh and respond “yes, say goodbye to your life” but that always seems so cruel. But seriously HAHAHA their life is over.

I’m honestly not sure of the reason I’m asked so frequently for advice for new parents. Sure, I’ve got two kids, chronicle my experiences as a parent on this website and I’ve even written a book for new dads but I’m not sure if I’m in the position just yet to give advice. Honestly, I don’t know if any parent can really give advice. Here’s why — every kid is different. EXTREMELY DIFFERENT.

So, while I can’t give specific and practical advice to new parents, I can offer them (I mean WARN THEM) about many of the issues coming down the line.

All 400+ of these parenting tips could be considered funny parenting advice for new parents. But just a warning — “do as I say and not as I screwed up.”

Hopefully, new and veteran parents will find some of the advice in these notes helpful. If not, you’re on your own.

Honestly, when it comes to parenting, you’re always on your own! But that’s half the fun.

The other half is snickering when people ask for advice.

Funny Parenting Advice About Newborns – The First 12 Months

Want some honest but funny parenting advice about newborns? Here goes. You’re going to feel like you don’t know what the hell you’re doing and that’s OK.

I had absolutely no idea what the hell I was doing.

Check out Funny Parenting Advice About Newborns – The First 12 Months

Funny Parenting Advice About Toddlers & Preschoolers – The First Few Years

Want some honest but funny parenting advice about toddlers and preschoolers?

I feel Jerry Seinfeld said it best in his funny quote on parenting — “Having a 2-year-old is like owning a blender that you don’t have a top for.”


Here’s more honest and funny parenting advice about raising topless blenders.

Sorry. I meant “toddlers.”

Read more Funny Parenting Advice About Toddlers & Preschoolers –  The First Few Years

Honest & Funny Parenting Advice About Raising Young Kids

Here’s some honest and funny parenting advice about raising young kids.

Raising young kids is much like playing golf.

A golfer can take 100 bad swings, and when all hope is lost, he nails that one perfect shot. This gets him through the next 100 awful shots.

The same rule applies to a parent. A parent can make countless mistakes and the kids can be intolerable.

Until that one moment that makes it all worthwhile.

Another similarity between parenting and golf — there’s a ton of cursing involved.

Read More Honest & Funny Parenting Advice About Raising Young Kids

Real Parenting Advice Every Mom & Dad Will Appreciate

If you’re looking for real parenting advice on raising kids, well, you’ve possibly come to the right place.

While I’d never tell a person how to be a better parent — there’s books and videos that would do a much better job — I will share my own experiences in parenting.

If any of this funny parent advice makes parenting a little easier, I’ve done my job.

At the very least, it will make you laugh. Usually at me, and not with me.

Read more real parenting advice here

Funny Celebrity Quotes About Parenting

Here’s the great thing about all these parenting quotes from famous people — they prove you’re not alone.

They also prove even rich people have kid issues.

You know those moments when you think “I have to be the only parent who’s gone through this stuff”?

Well, NOPE! You’re not the first and you certainly won’t be the last.

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