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My Toddler Pooped A Megazord & Loves To Swear In Restaurants

The Parental AF Parenting Podcast

subscribe-on-itunes-270In this episode of the Parental AF podcast my 3-year-old son poops himself a 2-foot-tall Power Rangers Megazord. And we see over 500 deadly reptiles for only $5 at Prehistoric Pets.

The Parental AF Podcast - My Kid Pooped A Megazord & Prehistoric Pets Alligator Death Pit Adventure

The Parental AF Podcast – My Kid Pooped A Megazord & Prehistoric Pets Alligator Death Pit Adventure

Yep, we finally bribed my little guy enough allow himself to be potty trained. Which took forever and had us pretty much convinced that he was retarded and would be wearing a pull-ups diaper well into junior high and/or junior college someday.

Thank God he proved us wrong. (For now.)

WTF: The Patented BabyBum Baby Butthole Cream Brush

The Parental AF Podcast - My Kid Pooped A Megazord & Prehistoric Pets Alligator Death Pit Adventure

Following this amazing parenting triumph my son immediately threw my wife and me down the deepest, saddest well of parenting despair when he started cussing up a storm at our home and later at a family Mothers Day brunch.

This crisis was quickly nipped its little c***s***ing, motherf***ing bud by some emergency, on-the-spot, time outs near a valet parking stand.

Here’s a link to super entertaining documentary about awful Burbank apartment complex that houses child actors and their awful stage parents, The Hollywood Complex, that I talk about on this episode.

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The Parental AF Podcast – My Kid Pooped A Megazord & Prehistoric Pets Alligator Death Pit Adventure

The following week we celebrated our victories over my son no longer sh***ing out of his mouth or into his own pants with a trip to Prehistoric Pets in Fountain Valley, California.

The Parental AF Podcast - My Kid Pooped A Megazord & Prehistoric Pets Alligator Death Pit Adventure

A place that really has do be seen to be believed. I highly recommend it.

This episode concludes with death being wished upon all old people who interact with my child or comment on my parenting in any way whatsoever.

LISTEN: Parental AF Ep 3 – Blind Bags, Mystery Packs & The Quest For World’s Best Lego Travel Carry Case

As it should. Because old people are terrible and hell can’t gobble them all up fast enough for my liking.

If you like this show (or if you at least had the elderly as much as I do) please be sure to like the Parental AF podcast on Facebook and Instagram.

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The Parental AF Podcast – My Kid Pooped A Megazord & Prehistoric Pets Alligator Death Pit Adventure

The Parental AF Podcast - My Kid Pooped A Megazord & Prehistoric Pets Alligator Death Pit Adventure

And, if you’d be so kind please head over to our show’s iTunes listing and give us a positive 5-star review.

All of this would be greatly appreciated.

And, once more, death to every motherf***er in the AARP!

LISTEN: The  Surfing Podcast Ep. 4 – Sharks Invade, Felipe Toledo, & Surfing In Sweden

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Blind Bags, Mystery Packs & The Quest For World’s Best Lego Travel Carry Case

Blinds Bags, Mystery Packs & The Quest For World's Best Lego Travel Carry Case

subscribe-on-itunes-270In this episode of the Parental AF podcast we do a deep dive into the scourge of every parent with toddlers and kids ages 3 to 10 years old —  toy Blind Bags (AKA Mystery Packs).

If you have kids (or nieces/nephews or grandchildren) in this age range you’ve definitely heard of blind bags and have probably spent a considerably amount of time squeezing, feeling and poking this foil-wrapped parental torture devices in a Target, Walgreens or Toys R Us aisle.

Blind Bags – Lego, Transformers, Halo & More

This episode covers the ins and outs of the Lego blind bag craze, toy unboxing videos, the fabled Playskool Toy Story 3 Tri-County Landfill playset, the elusive Imaginext DC Justice League Gorilla Grodd  figure and the quest for the perfect Lego travel carrying case (which were not 100% certain actually exists).

We’ve provided imagines and links below to the toys, blind bags, blind bag bump codes, Lego carrying case and other items mentioned on this episode of the Parental AF parenting podcast.

We are enrolled in the Amazon Affiliates program so if you use the links to purchase any of these toys, blind bags or items we receive a very small commission that helps pay for the show and (mostly likely) more blind bags for the podcast’s son.

And probably someday some sort of 12-step program to help this child break the vicious cycle of blind bag addiction and dependency.

Good Christ, these things really are the devil. 🙂

Blind Bags – Bump Codes

Here’s a great article on How To Identify Lego Batman Movie Blind Bags Using Bump Codes And Feeling The Bags.

Here’s a handy cheat sheet that shows the Lego Batman Movie Minifigures Blind Bags Bump Codes:

Lego Batman Blind Bags Bump Codes Guide Image

Here’s a cheat sheet that shows the Lego Disney Minifigures Blind Bags Bump Codes:

Disney Lego Minifigure Blind Bags Bump Codes Image

Here’s a cheat sheet that shows the Lego Minifigures Series 16 Blind Bags Bump Codes:

Lego Minifigures Series 16 Blind Bags Bump Codes Image

Blind Bags – Lego, Transformers & Halo

Here are some of the types of toy Blind Bags (Mystery Packs) discussed on this episode of The Parental AF Podcast:

LEGO Minifigures Series 16 Blind Bag

Lego Minifigures Series 16 Blind Bags

LEGO The Batman Movie Minifigure Blind Bag

Lego The Batman Movie Minifigures Blind Bags

Lego Disney Minifigures Blind Bag

Lego Disney Minifigures Blind Bags

KRE-O Transformers Micro-Changers Mystery Pack

KRE-O Transformers Micro-Changers Mystery Pack

Halo Micro Action Figures Challenger Series Mystery Blind BagHalo Micro Action Figures Challenger Series Mystery Blind Bags

The Perfect Lego Travel Carry Case For Kids – Some Options

Here are some of the Lego travel carrying cases and art bins discussed on this episode of The Parental AF Podcast:

The Quest For The Perfect Lego Carrying Case

ArtBin Quick View Deep Base Carrying Case- Clear Open Core Storage Container

The Quest For The Perfect Lego Carrying Case

ArtBin 12-Inch Quick View Deep Base Carrying Case- Clear Storage Container

The Quest For The Perfect Lego Carrying Case

Artbin Quick View Carrying Case-17-Inch by 4-Inch by 12-1/3-Inch Translucent Art/ Craft Supply Storage Container

The Quest For The Perfect Lego Carrying Case

Matty’s Toy Stop Brik-Kase Storage Organizer Container Case with Building Plate Lid

The Quest For The Perfect Lego Carrying Case

LEGO Juniors Fire Patrol Suitcase 10740 Building Kit

The Quest For The Perfect Lego Carrying Case

LEGO Red Cinch Bucket

The Quest For The Perfect Lego Carrying Case

Neat-Oh! LEGO Star Wars ZipBin TIE Fighter 600 Brick Storage Case

The Quest For The Perfect Lego Carrying Case

Neat-Oh Neat-Oh!® LEGO® Star Wars ZipBin® Large Millennium Falcon Messenger Bag

The Quest For The Perfect Lego Carrying Case

Neat-Oh Star Wars ZipBin Yoda Storage and Carry Case

The Quest For The Perfect Lego Carrying Case

Neat-Oh! LEGO Friends ZipBin Heartlake Place Transforming Toy Box

Impossible To Find Imaginext Toys – Toy Story 3 Tri-County Landfill & DC Justice League Gorilla Grodd

Fisher-Price Imaginext Disney/Pixar Toy Story 3 - Tri-County Landfill Playset

Fisher-Price Imaginext Disney/Pixar Toy Story 3 – Tri-County Landfill Playset

Imaginext DC Justice League Gorilla Grodd Action Figure

Imaginext DC Justice League Gorilla Grodd Action Figure

Thanks for listening to The Parental AF parenting podcast.

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Again, thank you!

WTF: The Patented BabyBum Baby Butthole Cream Brush

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Utah Dad Makes World’s Greatest BB-8 Snowman With Daughter

On this episode of the Parental AF podcast we speak to a Utah dad who built an awesome Star Wars BB-8 snowman with his daughter that became a viral sensation online.

This epic Force Awakens creation was a year in the making.

Tony Francis, the super dad who made it, walks us through the building process and shares his secret to being a great parent.

Click the icon below to listen and subscribe to this show on iTunes.

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Or, listen using the audio player on this page.

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Netflix, Why Have Thou Forsaken Me? (R.I.P. Jake And The Neverland Pirates)

Holy fucking apocalypse. Jake and the Never Land Pirates is no longer on Netflix.

My kid’s going flip his shit tomorrow am.

It’s his favorite TV show and he watches it at least once a day.

I am a fucking dead man.

Netflix, you bastards!

(Cut To: My kid watching the grainy, sped up to avoid copyright infringement detection software, high-pitched versions of JATNP on YouTube for the next six months.)

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Who Sends A Sick Toddler To School?!?

On this episode of the Parental AF podcast we discuss what happens when a parent sends a toddler to school with the flu.

Spoiler Alert: It makes all the other kids in the class get sick. And more specifically it made my son vomit all over our couch, his bed and the rest of our home.

sick-kid-on-couch-meme-800

Hear the harrowing tale of a three-year-old’s aggressive projectile vomiting, why the art your preschool child brings home is probably counterfeit, the long game of becoming your child’s favorite parent, all about the dreaded terror of the “poo-poo explosion,” and much more.

Please be sure to subscribe to us on iTunes.

And follow our show on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. Which ever one is your preferred method of posting embarrassing photos of your family.

 

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Please be awesome and like us on FB. Thanks!